Your family is tough...

And I'm carrying 9 right now. Nine different families, right now, are all depending on me to make sure their services and wishes are completed as ordered.

I've noticed, after you shoulder the 4th or 5th family in a row, my brain starts to mud up, get foggy, and I forget things...little things, like the fact that I had to go to the restroom but I just don't have time since obituaries have deadlines. Or that I told my mother I'd call her back, but then I got busy and I had to put her on the shelf with the other things I'm forced to ignore- my own family, friends, parties, luncheons, shopping dates, concerts, grocery shopping, yardwork, housecleaning. And no, I don't make enough to pay someone else to do my yardwork or housecleaning for me.

I come home, and in order to avoid drinking or substance abuse, I go see my horse, surf the internet, or watch a movie. I don't want to do anything else but vegetate. Only when we're busy.
If I'm serving 4 or fewer families, I can still go on about my life, being a responsible adult.

Each family has quirks. Some are chatty and don't want to leave, sitting with me for hours. Others don't want to be at the funeral home any more than is longer, and they jet out the door as soon as our paperwork is done. Others hate each other, and don't want to make a fuss in front of a stranger, let alone a strange funeral director, and others hate me, simply for what I do. Some hug me, crying, thankful that I'm there, others barely give me a parting glance on their way out.

I'll be honest.
After taking on 5 or more families in a row, I need to look at your file to remember who you are, who your loved one is, and what we've talked about. I take meticulous notes to remind me. As soon as I see your loved one's name, it usually floods back. Like raking up leaves, each name is in the pile in my brain, and I need to sift through the pile to find the exact leaf. The process is the same, but each family is different.
I make mistakes when I have so many funerals scheduled. Mistakes you'll never see. Mistakes that I'll never tell you about, since it's my job to make everything stress-free, flawless. Something already went wrong, that's why you had to see me, so nothing else can go wrong now. I can't let it. Your casket should've arrived yesterday, it didn't. I sent a driver to get it directly from the warehouse, and had it rushed down to the funeral home, at our expense. You wouldn't have known. The flowers you ordered arrived wilted, I called the florist, had her whisk down with fresher looking ones, and you never knew. There was a stain on the white shirt you dropped off for your loved one to wear. I soaked it overnight with a touch of bleach, and it came out sparkling clean. You didn't notice, but had that stain been there, you'd have seen it. It would've tarnished the image in your head. So many things we do, covering up other's mistakes, to make the experience tarnish free. So many instances, we just fade into the background, letting you have your ideal funeral, and you never knew otherwise.