When you care enough to send the very best...

A problem seen commonly in families I serve are the "overachievers" in the mourning department.

These are almost always close relatives, and for some reason unbeknownst to myself, they feel that the amount of focus they deliver to the smallest details is somehow directly in correlation to the level of their love for the deceased.

Case in point-

A father passes away. The family chooses the services they wish, they go over the service details with the funeral director, ordering flowers, cards, etc. One relative, and it's always just one, will worry about the smallest details. This person will worry about the font that the service order is printed in, they'll worry about which side of the chapel people will be entering on, the temperature of the water that is available, and whether or not the clergy will be clean shaven. They will call at all hours of the night, uncaring about the time or the fact that you need just a moment to shake the cobwebs out of your head before answering their question at 2 AM.

They call to ask what shade of blue the carpet in the funeral home is, what amperage the lighting will be at, and if we'll know to make sure the A/C is on in the chapel on a 99 degree day. (light to medium, 55 watt, and yes, we don't like heat either and we're not stupid)

Let me say that this is a detail oriented business. I want your input at an arrangement so that I can ensure that all goes well. I want you to tell me "roses, not lilies", or "white casket not green". This is important. I am not complaining about this. It is my job to take your request and make it happen. You want doves? I get doves. You want cookies for everyone? I get cookies.

What I am frustrated by is this: "We don't want anyone to send any pink flowers. Can you make sure that doesn't happen?" or... "This card stock isn't heavy enough for the service folders, why don't you have heavier paper?"

As funeral directors, we all know that you are in mourning. You have lost someone special to you. You don't need to prove it. Sitting back and letting me do my job is so much easier on you than stressing about whether you should arrive at 2:20 or 2:25 for a 3pm service.


Your family knows you care too.